Вчера досмотрел три сезона старенькой британской комедии Black Books, известной у нас под названиями «Книжный магазин Блэка» и даже «Черные книги» (привет, надмозги). Писать длинные отзывы на комедии лично мне непросто. Комедия — она либо смешная, либо нет, и непонятно, чего тут дальше писать. Поэтому просто скажу: Black Books — не самая смешная на свете комедия, но светлых моментов в ней вполне достаточно для просмотра 18 серий по 20 минут. Дальше — цитаты в коллекцию.
* * *
— What sort of world is it where you can't go away, leave the front door open without getting robbed?
— It's this sort of world, Gandalf!
* * *
— Those books, how much? Those books, leather-bound ones.
— Yes, Dickens. The Collected Works of Charles Dickens.
— They're real leather?
— They're real Dickens.
— I have to know if they're real leather because they have to go with a sofa. Everything else in my house is real. I'll give you 200 for them.
— 200 what?
— 200 pounds.
— Are they leather-bound pounds?
— No.
— Sorry, I need leather-bound pounds to go with my wallet. Next!
* * *
— How would you like a nice cool one? Lovely on a hot day like this.
— Cool books?
— Straight from the fridge.
* * *
— Sarah's an interior designer. She's on that programme, you know, Pet Surprise.
— Pet Surprise? What's that?
— Oh, you know. That thing, they take the dog out for a walk, he thinks it's a normal walk, but when they come back… the kennel has a patio and French doors.
* * *
— How much for these?
— 40 pounds.
— They're worth more than that. These are good hardbacks. Tolstoy, Turgenev…
— I know, I know, I know. But I don't want them. You know, I'll have to price them then, put them up on the shelves, store them, and people will come in and ask about them, and buy them, and read them, and come back and sell them, you know. And the whole hideous cycle will just go on and on and on and on! Here, there's 40 quid, just take them away. Please.
* * *
— What did he say, the midget?
— You mustn't call him a midget.
— He's a midget. A tiny midget.
— What if he overheard?
— He won't! His ears are too small!
* * *
The shop is the way it is because it is the way it is. If it wasn't the way it is, it wouldn't be the way it is.
* * *
— Do you have anything by Adam Phillips?
— How would I know? Go to a proper book shop.
* * *
— In Tibet, if they want something, you know what they do? They give something away.
— Do they? Do they? That must be why they're such a dominant global power.
* * *
You're becoming one of them. You're going over to the other side. The land of sandals, spoon-benders and yogurt-fanciers. Where everybody farts all the time because they don't know how to laugh.
* * *
Why does it have to be fancy? I just want sausage, mash and a bit of cake. Not twigs fried in honey or a donkey in a coffin.
* * *
— Shall we dress up or down?
— You can dress upside down and inside out, you'll still gonna eat your spaghetti like a pig.
* * *
Men have a different way of noticing a hair and appearance. Which is not noticing it.
