Цитаты

Mad Dogs 2011

graker — Thu, 05 Jun 2025 15:30:00 +0000

В последнее время что-то новое, сериальное, и при этом стоящее выходит не очень-то часто, так что иногда пересматриваю всякое относительно старое. На днях вот пересмотрел Mad Dogs (UK). Мне он и в 2011-м году понравился, а через 14 лет смотрится даже лучше. Тут тебе и юмор черный, и криминал с легким налетом гайричности, и просто за жизнь. Тут есть красивая картинка. Есть Майорка, и Ибица, и даже Южная Африка. Есть Тайни Блер, мертвый козёл, и даже токолоши. И много, много кризиса среднего возраста.

И плюс я большой любитель британского Life on Mars, а тут в главных ролях Джон Симм и Филип Гленистер, которых сейчас уже почти и не встретить. Симма еще можно, а Гленистер во всяком шлаке снимается.

В общем, приезжают в гости к другу на Майорку четыре обычных британских мужика. И случайно из-за этого друга попадают в криминальный замес на четыре сезона, к которому они совсем не готовы. Да и вообще, своих проблем хватает. Вот они и разбираются, и с криминальным замесом, и со своими проблемами. Периодически прогоняя что-нибудь жизнеутверждающее типа

— You know what the most popular breakfast cereals in America are? The ones with the highest sugar content. A country with over 190 million obese people, who believe that eating a breakfast cereal sugar-rich and corn-based is somehow gonna help them stay healthy. I mean that's gotta be the biggest piece of propaganda ever, hasn't it?

— And you care about this because…?

— Because it's synonymous with how we all live our lives.

— I'm starting to understand why your kids don't talk to you.

— Nobody wants to think for themselves any more! Be in control of their own destiny. Cause it's all too much effort. Everything we do, everything we watch, that we eat, that we interact with, is the result of some form of marketing. We've sold our entire lives from cradle to grave. And the illusion is we've never had so much choice, but the fact of the matter is we exert none.

— What's the alternative, then?

— The alternative? Maybe we should start doing things for ourselves. Take control. Do you know who invented breakfast cereal? The Seventh Day Adventists. That makes you think, doesn't it?

В общем звезд с неба шоу конечно не хватает, но скрасить несколько вечеров очень даже.

Теперь вот думаю The Shield пересмотреть, лучше него почти ничего и не снимали.

Slow Horses в коллекцию

graker — Wed, 18 Sep 2024 07:00:00 +0000

Гэри Олдман продолжает жечь в четвертом сезоне.

— So, you're in charge of the rejects.
— They don't like being called that.
— What do you call them?
— The rejects.

— He was carrying this.
— Phone and wallet?
— Both Cartwright's.
— What the fuck do you need me for then?
— Formal identification.
— It's a bit of a challenge.
— Well, did he have any identifying marks?
— He used to have a face. That any help?
— Tattoos, scars, piercings?
— Now, how the fuck would I know? I make 'em wear clothes around the office.

Rodeo

graker — Fri, 20 Jul 2018 20:15:00 +0000

— How you kept your boys out of rodeo I'll never know.

— I taught 'em young, Carl. Only reason to ride a bull, meet a nurse.

— Wouldn't be surprised if nurses were behind the whole goddamned thing. Lord knows it ain't the pay.

Новый Yellowstone вроде пока ничего.

The simplest organ

graker — Fri, 06 Apr 2018 20:40:00 +0000

The mysteries of human consciousness and the unknowable nature of the brain, which is rubbish! The brain is the simplest organ in the body. It only has three bits. There’s the front bit, which is the bit you scratch when you come in at half one in the morning, and the person you live with says, "Where the fuck were you?". The middle bit, which tries to come up with the excuse. And the back bit, which plays the last song that was on in the pub.

The X-Files 11

graker — Thu, 25 Jan 2018 12:55:00 +0000

You're free to explore Uranus all you want. But we can't allow your kind to infiltrate the rest of the cosmos.

Во всяком случае комедийные серии у них по-прежнему забавные. В остальном — всё как в прошлый раз.

Good luck and good riddance!

Flame-resistant closet

graker — Fri, 15 Dec 2017 21:45:00 +0000

— Is this a panic room?
— It's a closet. Get in here.
— Is it… is it flame-resistant?
— We're gonna find out.

Сериальная версия Lethal Weapon все-таки вышла на удивление веселая и органичная.

Gramophone

graker — Thu, 14 Dec 2017 13:00:00 +0000

— Will they want music, Charlie? We have that gramophone we found abandoned inside that gentleman's car.

A little secret

graker — Sun, 17 Sep 2017 21:25:00 +0000

Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it. Don't wait for it. Just let it happen. It could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot black coffee.

A big mistake

graker — Mon, 11 Sep 2017 19:15:00 +0000

— The point is, I made a mistake. A big mistake. But the good thing is that every time you make a mistake, you learn something. And what I learned, and this is the one thing I want you to remember, whenever you're about to do something that you know is bad, always, always, always look for the camera.

Episodes все еще смешные.

Not my type

graker — Sun, 06 Aug 2017 21:35:00 +0000

— She's not my type.

— What are you looking for, a blood donor?

The Americans иногда смешные. И клюквы не так много, терпимо. По крайней мере пока.

The Leftovers in a nutshell

graker — Wed, 05 Jul 2017 11:55:00 +0000

— I'm not sure she understands.

— I understand. You want to drown Kevin so that he can go to this place where the dead people are. And while he's there, he's going to learn a song from one of the dead people and he's gonna bring that song back to you so you can sing it and stop the biblical flood that's gonna happen tomorrow.

— That about covers it.

— And… and you've told all this to Kevin and he's actually considering it.

— Yeah.

The Leftovers в этом году неплохо заходит. Редко когда встретишь такую захватывающую бессмысленность и беспощадность!

Как ездят греки

graker — Tue, 30 May 2017 13:35:00 +0000

В Греции можно выпить и сесть за руль. Все так делают. Вы вообще видели как ездят греки?

Lotta Jesus

graker — Mon, 15 May 2017 21:25:00 +0000

— And how many colors does Jesus come in?
— Why, you got your White Jesuit-style Jesus. You got your Black African Jesus. You got your Brown Mexican Jesus. You got your swarthy Greek Jesus.
— Well, that's a lotta Jesus.
— There's a lotta need for Jesus, so there's a lotta Jesus. Now, the Mexican Jesus came here the same way a lot of Mexicans do. Illegally. No, that's not being racial. You can ask Him. He'll tell you. He waded across the Rio Grande, his back as wet as the epithet suggests.

American Gods пока не сдулся.

To have a clue

graker — Sun, 07 May 2017 20:55:00 +0000

— Oh, I know who he is. They don't have a clue. They don't have a fucking clue.
— I don't have a fucking clue. Okay? I don't give a fuck if they don't have a fucking clue. I want one. Give me a fucking clue.
— Clues were not in the agreement.
— Oh, neither was my ass hanging from a fucking tree. I was lynched. Strange fuckin' fruit.
— Plucked plucky fruit. Here you stand. Unusual outcome for a lynching.

Пожалуй, American Gods пока в этом году лучший. «Табу» мог претендовать, но к середине немного подсдулся. Через две недели еще Twin Peaks воскресят, будем посмотреть.

Про киндер-сюрприз

graker — Fri, 04 Nov 2016 14:15:00 +0000

I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise. Horrible chocolate; nasty little toy: a double-whammy of disillusionment! Sometimes I eat the toy out of sheer despair.

© Bill Bailey

Цитаты про путешествия

graker — Wed, 14 Sep 2016 19:55:00 +0000

Две мои любимые цитаты про путешествия и туризм.

Фундаментально важной для существования туриста обыкновенного является твердая, как кремень, вера, что на самом деле с ним не может случиться ничего плохого, поскольку он тут ни при чем.

© Терри Пратчетт

Everybody does that now. We all take pics… you do the same with holiday photos. You record something to look back on it, even though you’re not really there when you’re taking the picture ‘cause you’re too busy recording it — so you retrospectively go to look back on where you weren’t and tell yourself you had a good time.

© Dylan Moran

Джек Блэк и Пол Ревир

graker — Wed, 21 Oct 2015 21:37:58 +0000

В Limitless внезапно пошутили:

— So, what do a cat, a spaceship and Jack Black have to do with terrorism?
— That's Paul Revere.

Шрифт у названия шоу, кстати, клевый.

Пересматриваю Life on Mars

graker — Wed, 16 Sep 2015 21:09:24 +0000

— Liar. Liar, liar, liar, liar, liar, liar, liar!
— Liar!
— I want to see some sort of lawyer.
— A liar?
— A lawyer!

Классика не умирает.

The Brink и французы

graker — Tue, 25 Aug 2015 21:31:28 +0000

The Brink продолжает жечь напалмом (почти буквально!):

Dominique, sorry, but the French haven't been relevant since the battle of Dien Bien Phu.

Кто еще не смотрел — рекомендую. Добротно, смешно!

Про фотокарточки

graker — Wed, 24 Jun 2015 15:59:49 +0000

Everybody does that now. We all take pics… you do the same with holiday photos. You record something to look back on it, even though you’re not really there when you’re taking the picture ‘cause you’re too busy recording it — so you retrospectively go to look back on where you weren’t and tell yourself you had a good time.
© Dylan Moran